When we got to the hospital Lana had her pulse and blood oxygen things done, and we headed down to the eye clinic. Turns out the eye doctors were all in a meeting until 2.00, but the nurse came and apologised, informed us of the reason for the delay, and exactly when we’d be seen. Great service.

Lana was well past her normal daytime sleep time by this point, and was exhausted, but she soldiered on, and the specialist was fantastic with her, having treated children of this age many times before, undoubtedly.

The exam took about 10 minutes, after which time we were told that they were pretty certain that Lana’s problem was caused by the muscles in her eye, which is what we initially thought (and which is great news). The better news is that because it is very intermittent she won’t need to don a pirate eye patch, but she’ll need to keep coming back to have her progress monitored. It’s looking likely that she’ll need an eye operation at some point, but by this stage and eye operation looks like great news!

After seeing two eye doctors we had to head back up to paediatrics, where the doctor informed us that he’ll need to see Lana again on Tuesday. Although the eye doctors are sure it’s a problem with her eye, the paediatrician needs to rule out the more serious possibility that it’s a problem with pressure in her brain, such as GBS or <insert difficult-to-spell condition here>. It’s entirely possible that she’ll need to have an MRI (which will mean a general anaesthetic) but we’ll all decide that together on Tuesday, and no-one believes it’s the brain thing – the scan will be simply to cross off an item on the list that was initially discussed.

After some initially poor communication when we took Lana in last night (we didn’t know why we were there, or what was involved for quite some time), everything else went very smoothly, and the staff at the two departments at York General Hospital were fantastic.

Finally, thanks to everyone on Twitter and text who supported us with good wishes over the last 24 hours – it really has helped.

It really should be Shadow Register, though – it needs the capitalisation. In fact, it should be S.H.A.D.O.W. Register, and they should give her RayBans. That would be cool.

As Lana was coming to the end of her chickenpox, though, I noticed something odd with her right eye – it would occasionlly squint to the right while her left eye looked forward. My wife didn’t see it at first (it was intermittent) but after a few days she saw it, and then couldn’t stop noticing it. She also began to trip more than usual. 2-yr olds often stumble, but there was a definite increase in frequency. This I put down to her depth of vision being out due to the eye thingie.

I consulted with Doctor Goole and he told me that it is extremely common for a squint to develop in under-5s, and it is often brought on by a bout of chickenpox. The cure (to remedy any eyesight problems) is generally an eye-patch (arrr, Cap’n Lana!) but to remedy the aesthetic, an eye operation is usually needed, which kind of freaked us out. To get either (or both) of these we’d need a referral to an opthalmologist.

So, I booked Lana in to see the GP, who booked us in to the pediatric ward of the local hospital straight away. In fact, we drove straight there, expecing to see an iDoctor (not an Apple trademark, as far as I know).

Well, rather than see an opthalmologist, Lana saw a variety of doctors over the course of the next few hours, who then told us that we need to come back tomorrow (today) for another bunch of tests. She’ll see the eye guy today, but also a bunch of other specialists with impossible-to-spell titles, because one possible reason for the eye problems and stumbling is that there is a tumour pressing on her brain. The tests today should rule that out, and it’s probable that the issues are related to the muscles in her eye.

Funny how we’re now hoping she has to have an eye operation…

Just a few catchy-uppy things.

My 5-yr old (”I’m five and a half, Daddy!”) impressed me a short while back. She decided she wanted to try to con the tooth fairy. She told me her plan, and roped me in to help. So we found some pictures of teeth on the internet, cut them out, and left them under her pillow. Cunning plan!

She was a little disappointed when she woke up in the morning to find that the tooth fairy had taken her pictures of teeth, and left her a picture of a coin!

Sometimes the world just works and it presents Dads with great opportunities like this. I’ll be telling that story for years, I’m sure!

What next? Oh, yes – on the way home from work on Tuesday, I found I had a pain in my chest. It was quite painful, but in that terribly British way of not wanting to make a fuss, I said nothing, sure that it would be fine by the time I got home. It wasn’t. I went out later, sure it would be fine over the course of the evening. It wasn’t. So, I went to bed, sure I would wake up with it fine. I didn’t. (Well, I woke up, just not pain-free).

I logged onto the NHS Direct website (this was about 5.30am) and started typing in my symptoms. A BIG red box flashed on screen with large writing telling me to dial 999. I didn’t. I thought it was a bit melodramatic. Instead I called the out-of-hours GP. I described my symptoms and the operator told me. “Please hold on – I’m transferring you to the ambulance service”). I was told to make sure a light was on, and to leave the door open.

Eek.

They arrived and hooked me up to an ECG machine. Everything seemed fine. To be on the safe side I was taken into hospital, where they repeated the test, took some blood to do other tests, and gave me an x-ray.

Everything fine, and they didn’t know why I had the pain (which sounded like a heart attack, but wasn’t). A couple of paracetamol later, and I was sent on my way.

A bit mystifying, but hey-ho.

The next day the pain was still there, but by early evening it had all but disappeared, and it’s gone now.

Such an adventure. All my Twitter buddies kept me company, which was nice, and when I told Paul Cornell that I felt a bit guilty for wasting people’s time at the hospital he told me not to be so silly – that they wouldn’t think that way, and neither should I. He’s right, of course, but I still felt a bit of a fraud.

In other news, I’ve been going to the gym every week since the beginning of the year. I do feel better for it, too. That, combined with more sensible eating, and slightly smaller portions, means I’ve lost a bit of weight, but more importantly, I feel fitter.

Lastly, today I visited Edinburgh Napier University to give a talk to their MA Creative Writing class about creative and market trends in SF&F, and to talk a little about networking (of the real-world and social varieties). I was a little nervous, as it’s been ages since I’ve addressed a group like this, but it went swimmingly, and I had a great time. And when they laughed at me, it was always in response to a joke of some description. Which was nice.

Oh, and the iPad? Yeah, I want. And yes, I know all the arguments against, but come on! It’s soooo purdy…

Later…

Don’t forget to make sure choices, if you are eligible. And don’t forget that Hub is eligible for the Semi-Prozine catagory, should you wish to consider it…

</commercial>

Why? Why do you do it? It’s the televisual equivalent of poking a loose tooth to see if it still hurts. Let me tell you – it is still going to hurt.

Oh, but it’s not like it was when I was younger you say. That’s true. It’s probably better. But you know, it’s not the programme that’s significantly changed – it’s you. You watched it through the eyes of the young, and loved it for what it was. Then you grew up, and you expected the show to grow up with you. But it didn’t – not in the ways that matter to you. It’s not a show designed predominantly for adults, and it’s time you realised that. It’s a family show. It’s aimed at all frequencies of the familial waveband, from 5 to 105, and for non-genre fans as well as the enlightened. It can’t compete with Battlestar Galactica or Fringe on their own terms – they’ve been designed with you in mind. They’re shown later at night. Their websites don’t regularly feature official reviews from 5-yr old children. They don’t have their own sections at Toys R Us!

I don’t like mushrooms. I manage to get through life by choosing not to eat them. I don’t decide to eat mushrooms every meal on the off-chance that the flavour has miraculously changed, and then post negative reviews at www.FungusFans.com when I am yet again disappointed. That’s because I’m not an arsehole.  I might try mushrooms at some point in the future to see if my own tastes have changed sufficiently for me to enjoy them, but the chances are that mushrooms are simply not for me.

I’m sorry to tell you this, but Doctor Who isn’t your show any more. You’ve lost the ability to watch the programme through the eyes of a child, and until you rediscover that ability you are going to be consistently frustrated by the show. There is absolutely no point in watching it. Seriously. For you, it’s not going to get significantly better. Buy some DVDs of other shows, instead. Watch some post-watershed adult-themed programmes. You’ll have a better time and you’ll piss off fewer people.

The year couldn’t have started in a better fashion – on January 5th 2009 I joined the team at Angry Robot. The new job has coloured my year, and has been instrumental in making it such a good one for me. I met a bunch of great new people – writers, bloggers, artists, editors, publishers. I went to a host of events – book launches, EasterCon, FantasyCon, BristolCon, WorldCon in Montreal. And I helped publish a bunch of books by some of the most talented writers around. It’s ridiculous – this is what I should have been doing years ago. So, thanks go to Chris and Marco at Angry Robot for taking a chance on me – it seems to have paid off for everyone, so that’s good.

That was 2009.

As for 2010 – a few small resolutions are in order, I think.

• I want to lose a stone in the next 3 months.
• I want to read more books written by mates (and I have some lined up on my TBR shelves already).
• I want to update this blog on a more regular basis, and also blog more for SFX.
• I want to find time to write more – a simple target of 1,000 words of fiction per week, at least initially.
• I want to sell a short story by the end of April.

That’s it. All fairly easy to do (apart from the first, which is a bit more challenging). There are a few work-related ones, too, but they’ll be on my annual appraisal, rather than on here, I think…

My Annual Hub awards will be in this week’s Hub (issue 108,I think) and I’ll also have a Best Of thing on the Angry Robot blog next week.

Oh, and Happy New Year! Whatever your 2009 was like, here’s to 2010 being better!

I love what you’ve done with your hair, by the way. You look great – do you work out?

Presents received from my daughters:
A pair of slippers*
Various bags of sweets and chocolates

Presents received from my next-door neighbour:
Star Trek (2009) DVD

Presents received from the missus:
A radio-controlled indoor “mosquito” helicopter
Boneshaker by Cherie Priest
Alice in Sunderland by Bryan Talbot
Dexter season 3
Eureka season 2
Castle season 1
Various boxes of sweets and chocolates
Bye Bye Birdie by Shirley Hughes

The Doctor Who Christmas day special was a curious mix of the wonderful, the magnificent , the daft and the disappointing. I watched it on Christmas night, but the viewing was constantly interrupted by my daughter crying in bed, so I didn’t get as much from it as I should, so I revisited it the following evening. I was very disappointed by the first viewing, but it was much more enjoyable the second time around. John Simms evidently had a ball. His Master was constantly hungry, which perhaps goes some way to his chewing the scenery in every scene – it was wonderfully, gloriously over-the-top. Tennant’s Doctor, meanwhile, had a much quieter time of it, and his scene in the cafe with Wilf was a masterclass in understated performance. I suspect we’ll see more from him in his final episode next week. The only thing to truly spoil the episode for me was Murray Gold’s score, which was often intrusive, and which pulled focus from the on-screen action in a number of important scenes. Part of the blame for this should lie with the editor, of course, who chose to RAMP UP THE VOLUME whenever something interesting was happening.

*The slippers thing
I’d known for weeks that Verity had chosen slippers for me for Christmas as I’d mentioned my need for some, and that I’d intended buying some. She said – “Buy some after Christmas, Daddy” and then paused, turned to my wife and said “It’s so hard keeping a secret, Mummy.” So every few days I’d say something like “my feet are cold – I need some new slippers” only for her to repeat almost verbatim her previous comments. She wrapped both slippers separately, so on opening the first I was able to feign surprise and then delight that I only needed to buy one slipper! I couldn’t get my feet into them as they were stuffed with packets of sweets, so I pretended they were too small, which was again the cause of much hilarity.

The opening of the kids’ presents took a long time, and Verity was reasonably happy with the helmet we’d given her. “I suppose I can wear it when I’m on my scooter, until I get  a bike.” After lunch we brought out her main present. It’s pretty difficult wrapping a bicycle with stabilisers, you know! She started to unwrap it. “It’s a bicycle! And it has tassles on the handlebars! AND IT’S GOT A BABY SEAT FOR MY DOLL!”

Two very happy children, and all in all, the best Christmas in a long, long time.

After the launch event (at Forbidden Planet Megastore) a bunch of us retired to a local hostelry, and I quizzed Dan about his comics writing. We then started to reminisce about the cheesy humourous era of the 80s, when Giffen and DeMatteis were writing various Justice League titles, and when Doctor Fate was interesting (my quote, not Dan’s).

It seems over the last 20-odd years I’ve missed all of Dan’s titles, and he recommended his Guardians of the Galaxy for me as a jumping-on point, as it was intended to capture the daftness of 80s JLA.

Two days later, a parcel arrived for me at the Angry Robot offices – Dan had sent me a copy of Guardians.

Swine.

Why “swine”? Because it was good! Huge fun, and highly enjoyable. It meant I had to start hunting out his other titles. As a direct result, in the last month I’ve bought five Abnett graphic novels at a cost of around £80 (Nova, volumes 1 to 5). I’m now hooked! And I now have a 20 year back catalogue to collect – it’s going to cost a fortune!

Thanks, Dan!

Now, before I start with my views, I think it important to clarify my particular stance on the subject of the BNP.

First of all, I despise everything the bunch of nasty little shits stand for. Secondly, I’d not lose a minute of sleep if they boarded a plane that mysteriously disappeared over the Bermuda Triangle. I’m not that bothered about their welfare. Thirdly, I think it’s important that I’m allowed to call them a “bunch of nasty little shits” without fear of reprisal.

We kid ourselves that we live in a free society, and we – quite naturally – get very upset when something happens to upset the status quo, particularly when we’ve been relatively content with how quo the status has been.

When the BNP (I can’t bring myself to type out the party’s full name more than once in this entry – I find it offensive that they use the word “British” in their title, as if they represent those of us born or nationalised here)… I’ll start again, as that was far too much of an aside to be easily read: when the BNP won two European Parliamentary seats earlier on this year, I felt ashamed. Not only to be living in the general area where they were elected (“the north”) but also ashamed that nearly a million people in the UK felt that this group of fascist idiots offered more than the other parties running for election. Seriously – how low must the public opinion be of the Tories and Labour, if they’d prefer to allow this bunch of cretinous bigots to represent us in the European parliament!

Now there is outrage that the BNP have been invited to appear on Question Time on the BBC. It is the opinion of many (including a number of close friends of mine) that they should be banned from the programme, as to appear would lend them the appearance of respectability and implied acceptance.

There is a lot of truth in this argument, but the fact remains that the party are a democratically elected body, and if the BBC were to ignore them, just because their policies are offensive to many (not to all, of course – they were elected, after all), or because the BBC has been pressured by other political parties, then this would be tantamount to censorship. It would be the Comics Code all over again – “we don’t mind what you say, as long as we agree with it”. And yes – it’s not art, it’s politics, and it’s an over-simplification, perhaps, but there is truth there.

I hate the BNP with a passion, but if a line is drawn, and they are not allowed the right of free speech, how long before the line is drawn a little closer, and a little closer, until our own opinions are subject to approval before we are allowed to express them? Or we’re not allowed to express them at all?

The BNP are fascists of the lowest order, but as legally, democratically elected members of a legitimate political body, they have a right to express their opinions on the same stage as their competitor parties. I abhor what they say, but as long as no laws are broken, I’ll defend their right to say it.